PAINT….is what I do when I take a picture.  I paint a picture of a smile on my face artificially superficial, as that smile is not originated in my heart. I always envy those whose smiles are not forced….not generated. You can look at them and tell they’re just happy people . Joyful. Content. I want that to be me. But for me the smile is forced. I often look at the painting and try to distinguish if it “looks” genuine enough to pass off as real. Sometimes maybe and idk if others notice but I can definitely tell its not authentic. Behind that painting is hurt and disappointment. The mask others see destroys all visible traces of vulnerability. Eventually though that paint smears and the drippings are reflected in fits of anger and rage….clumbsy words aimed at other people’s character. The painting is overshadowed by tears and feelings of entrapment.  I want to work towards authenticating that smile.  I want that smile to generate from the inside out radiating so radiantally that’s its authenticity cannot be questioned.  I want my smile to be sought after by others. I want my heart to be something I can give away; free of dust and debris. I want my smile to say: I’m free, I’m loved. 



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