Helpmate or Hindrance


The bible calls for us to be our spouse’s helpmate.  So often we are so into our feelings, so unstable, that we hinder not help our mate.  We give no thought to their needs and struggles only our “wants”.   Our priority is not in “relationship” but rather our own “rights”.

Time is needed before nuptials to ask yourself, “why am I getting married”.   The why is such a difficult question to ask and answer.  Ever wonder why kids almost always respond “I don’t know” to the why questions (adults do also).  A better question is “what is my/your motive”.

It’s so easy to answer I love them or justify that I fell out of love but when we think of marriage in terms of motive its not so simple.  Motives imply intent which implies a responsibility; which is much more difficult to justify a way out of.   A motive takes the responsibility off the spouse and places it one’s self.  You become accountable for your own choices and actions.

We often hear people say they married the wrong person; truth is Satan may have planted this idea in one person. That person carried the idea to another who accepted it as truth.  Someone opened their mind to allow this falsehood to come in and we in the world accepted it as plausible.  It made them feel relieved that they had a way out; so they accepted it as truth; their truth.  The world is highly accepting of excuses and bail outs when it comes to matters of responsibility.

When we place our wants over our spouses we become a hindrance rather than a help mate.  We initiate a cycle of selfishness that says I won’t give unless I first receive.  This ignites a spirit of defensiveness as we began to spew all the reasons we are justified in demanding our own way.

To change this nature in marriage, we have to first become familiar with love in action; the purpose of marriage; the beauty of placing another’s value over one’s own.  We must learn to carry the burdens of each other.

Think about if this person turned to drugs tomorrow, three years, ten years, could you endure and pray them through it while remaining loyal and faithful?  Would you be willing to help them carry that burden? Love is so much more than adoring a person’s smile or sharing a laugh together.  It is the action of relieving another of a hardship or simply lightening their load.  It’s the selfless act of placing that person’s desires and needs above your own.  It’s the sacrifice of many things for the pleasure of seeing another happy.

Love is rarely felt through feelings as it is so often expected.  You will find that when love is based off feelings they are it is difficult to describe.  When it is rather given and received through actions the descriptions of love and the feelings derived from it are too many to name.  When love is the motive the one giving it is not the center nor looking to receive in return; however the reciprocity is somehow unavoidable.

Gal 6:2

Carry one another‘s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ


The Heart

Can the heart know joy without holes

can it recognize happiness without loss

daily my heart is punctured by unmet expectations

is that my doing or that of another

by having expectations am I setting my heart up

or maybe expectations is the wrong description

either way how do I take responsibility for the punctures

The holes are mine to fill or jump over

the punctures are mine to patch up and care for

the loss is mine to remember possession of

puncture is mine to accept, reject, or repair

Mental bondage? Then or now?


Since the boom of social media, opinions have been running rampant.  Everyone is an expert on another person’s life, choices, or even a national news event or celebrity.  While on facebook, I was somehow led to a page where there was a long status in regards to Christianity.  Here I will give my “opinion” on the opinion of that person’s status.  I will be taking quotes from that status and elaborating on them. 

The status, written by a black person, started by doing exactly what it attempted to point out others have been doing before time, degrading black people.  They began by saying “my people don’t think”.  My inner most parts cringe when I hear or read this statement and I am utterly clueless as to what the person even meant – that because the person has a difference of opinion they somehow don’t think. Maybe “your” people don’t but I do and I know many others that do.  Even those with different views do, they just don’t “think” the same as I do, which enables us to have an intelligent conversation that can stimulate growth and movement on other levels.  The quality of relationships can move past surface discussions to acceptance and understanding of others and their systems.

The individual went on to say that the “white man gave “us” Christ to enslave our mind”.  I find that mind boggling in that despite the slaves believing in the word they still sought freedom and fought relentlessly for their civil rights.  Unlike society today, they fought not only for themselves but for their family, their neighbor, the future (“Us”).  Our minds today appear to be more “enslaved” than any other time in history.  Oppression appears to run deep today in a time when there is freedom to enjoy the simpler things in life, however many choose to dwell more on what they believe they don’t have and deserve rather than the sacrifices made for them to walk in clarity and equality.  Name brands, celebrities, and reality television have enslaved us this day and age more than slavery ever could have enslaved the conscious “woke” black pillars of the past.  There was an attempt to break the bond and spirits of these beautiful rich souls with work and backlash but time has proved that we are more broken by our own desires to have things of those we admire rather than by the actions of another race. 

Was slavery God’s way to spread Christianity?

The last point that stuck out to me was the statement that read “If you think Christianity is the right religion for you as a black person you subconsciously agree and are grateful for slavery and racism…”

Maybe I am grateful for slavery because I know that hard times bring forth fruit and harvest.  What example and pride would we have were it not for slavery? How would we know just how ungrateful we are were it not for those hardships of those before us?  What about abusive parents who push Christianity on us? Does it make it different because we have the same skin tone/color? 

Our parents, family, teachers, pastors, and a host of other influencers in our life teach us a lot of things.  They bring us new information, they challenge some old information, and they help to shape us into the thinkers we are.  With all the info brought to us, we ultimately choose which info we choose to retain and believe.  In the end, Christianity is a choice just as not being a Christian is a choice.  We can all agree that we read books to educate ourselves on one subject or another.  Then we make a choice to accept the knowledge of that book or not.  The same is true for the bible or any other literature of religion.  Those who chose to believe in Allah, some other form of higher power, or even nature itself received the information about that particular choice from a book.  The difference I find is that the only time there is open condemnation on a person’s worship choice is when they “Choose God”.  Why is that?

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,

via Daily Prompt: Maze