What is keeping you from being transparent? I particularly took interest in this topic one because I usually know the answers to questions about myself right off hand and two because I always thought I was transparent before being posed with this very question. Upon pondering this question, I realized vulnerability is a part of transparency. I try my hardest, without even trying, not to be vulnerable. Let’s examine these words: transparent and vulnerable. Transparency is the act of transmitting light so that objects lying beyond are entirely visible, sheer enough to be seen through, easily detected and understood; AHA! I have also felt that I am misunderstood by everyone and this is probably due to the fact that I am not transparent. Transparency is also noted as obvious. Are you obvious? Vulnerable reads as capable of being physically or emotionally wounded, open to attack or damage. I try not to get wounded, although it seems inevitable. However, I don’t want to be open to attack or damage and that causes me to shoot back, or defend myself when I feel hurt, in attempt not to be vulnerable.
What keeps me from being transparent is my desire to not be hurt. Since hurt is inevitable, it is actually a desire for others not to know they’ve hurt me. How can I expect others to do better towards me and honor my boundaries if I do not communicate what offends me. Transparency is tied in with boundaries, relationships, and the quality of those relationships. I believe people who remain transparent are the happiest people and have the healthiest relationships. How can I teach my kids to be transparent if I myself am scared of transparency?
Because I am resistant to being vulnerable, thus blocking my transparency, this also prevents me from being gentle in soul. I am currently seeking to be gentler. However, my resistance to intimacy puts a sense of resistance to that desire. I resist intimacy because it will unleash my vulnerability. This hinders how deep my relationships go because I cannot be totally honest, due to a lack of trust, to anyone around me. This also stunts my own growth. There’s a valuable lesson to be learned about not being able to be your whole self all the time. You end up being the one who is ultimately hurting you! So when your feelings are hurt by someone who says something you feel offends you, its ultimately because you have failed to let that person know what excites you, what dismays you, what harms you, what disgusts you………. Ironically if you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you become stronger.
In closing, let’s strive to be consciously more open with people; therefore releasing the hold of sensitivity, unhappiness, inconsistency, incompletion, and undesirably affected relationships. Dare to Live, Dare to Love, Dare to Trust!
Psalm 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.